wallflower
[wawl-flou-er]"You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.”
Charlie is a wallflower.
He's a 15 year old an aspiring writer, introspective, and caught between trying to live, well, life and trying to fly away from it. For all the right reasons, Charlie shies away from the social spotlight after the suicide of his friend and the death of his aunt... until he meets the effervescent Sam and the quirky Patrick.
“I am very interested and fascinated how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.”
“Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”
“Try to be a filter, not a sponge.”
Ok, so enough of me laughing at my own lame jokes in front of the computer.
Charlie truly is a gem. He is genuinely concerned about the feelings of other people, even strangers. Despite all the twists and turns in his own life, as he walks down the hallway, he can't help but wonder... "It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why.”And the unconstrained sympathy doesn't end there. Charlie refuses to break up with Mary-Elizabeth, his girlfriend, even though he is in love with Same, and never really liked her in the first place. Tactful, no. But caring? At least he tries.
And if you can't already tell by now, our little wallflower spends a lot of time analyzing, well, everything. Which, as you can guess, becomes a burden. Things really start going downhill when he starts to realize that Aunt Helen, the most beloved person in his life, died because of him. To the reader, its a twisted mix of emotions- we later learn that Aunt Helen molested Charlie all throughout his childhood. Because of this major flaw, Charlie is unable to stop his own spinning mind, and the flashbacks.
And I can't lie. Flipping through the pages was a lot like standing in front of a mirror. Sure, I may not be as socially awkward as Charlie (well, I certainly hope not), aaaaand I don't do drugs or smoke or ride in a truck without a seatbelt oh goodness the thought of such an act - The point is, even though we live in such different worlds, the girl who still sits lonely on the bus and wonders if anyone understands... saw herself in the boy who danced alone at homecoming. And that's what I truly find so beautiful about his character. Charlie's inspiring and poignant letters are all addressed "Dear Friend". There was something about the way the author wrote him that you’ll start to see the world through his eyes. My situation is far from Charlie's, but I do not feel pity... rather... empathy. It's as if he was writing to me, to you...to everyone. He has a story to tell, and the exhilarating scenes are just as riveting as the solemn ones. And as Charlie navigated his way through the unmapped world of first dates and family dramas, I saw things, I kept quiet. And I began to understand...
If I had to capture in the essence of Charlie's life with a non-human noun, it would be... tunnel.
Yes, literally. In chapter 13, Charlie drives through a tunnel, all while overanalyzing the meaning of said tunnel. Later, he passes through the same tunnel with Sam and Patrick in the epilogue. (He really likes public infrastructure). This time, the ride was a little more magical.
"It was me standing up in that tunnel with the wind over my face... Not even thinking about it. Because I was standing in the tunnel. And I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite."
And here, for your enjoyment, is "The Tunnel Song".
